Take up thy cross

I was hit by the Grandma bug last night. That little bug that that buzzes in your ear saying, "buy the personalized first time grandma mug, and the personalized baby blanket and the personalized first Christmas ornament, and while your there, make sure you get something for the new mom, after all she's got a big job ahead of her...." Thank goodness all of that is still sitting in my cart, and I haven't actually "checked out" yet. Its my version of virtual shopping. Load up the cart and close the page. Tends to be cheaper than actually buying the $753.67 worth of stuff, even if it does come with free shipping.

As I was closing out the cart, I remembered another young friend, starting her new family. She and her husband now have a one year old and live in a different state, but I've loved her like my own for years. Then it hits me. I've haven't seen much of her on social media in the past several weeks. I hope everything is okay. Starting out with a young family can be difficult. But they are in their early 20's and have moved several states away from all of their family, following God's calling. I hoped things were continuing to go well for them, as things had been going great, and they seemed very happy in their new home and church.

I quickly went to my friend search and entered her name. Up popped her profile with the cutest picture of her and the baby. Then I noticed it said I could request to be her friend. That can't be right. I just private messaged her a few weeks ago to get their address to send the baby a gift. I tried to retrieve the private message, but found nothing. For a minute I was stunned, then the realization of the explanation hit me, no, more liked slapped me, and tears immediately came to my eyes.

I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. -Phil 1:3-6

I guess its been about five years ago now that this little spark of sunshine came into our lives. From the very beginning we all fell in love with her, and she immediately became one of our "kids". She even became part of my parents lives. When my father passed away, she came to see him. I have never seen such grace in a high school senior in that situation. She knew he had stage 4 cancer, but didn't know he would be gone a week later. She was so helpful and supportive to all my children, but formed a special bond with my 11 year old daughter during this time. This bond would prove crucial to us all just two years later.

You see, when she came to see my dad, it was on her way to prom with my oldest son. They dated for a short while, but she has never left our lives. The next year, she found herself in an abusive relationship and called me to help her get out of the situation. I didn't hesitate. When Anthony got sick, she was right there, doing what she could and coming to the funeral and visitation. We've kept in touch after she married and moved away and I've watched her little family grow. And absolutely loved the fact that we were still part of her life. Part of her life until now. But I understand. It is because she dated my son, and I am sure her husband is having a hard time with her still still having a relationship with us. And you know what? I don't blame him. Morgan didn't treat her well. And she deserved so much better. she deserved the Christian husband God has given her.

Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it. -Luke 17:32

When I first realized the situation It made me a little angry and then a lot sad. Why should Morgan's action's reflect on me? I didn't do anything. Sure I raised him, but believe me, I had plenty of wooden spoons around, and disrespect wasn't tolerated. I am no more responsible for his decisions and actions he is making now that he is of legal age, than I am responsible for the behavior of the kids I had in vacation bible school 30 years ago. But I did, and continue to pray that I was able to show and tell them enough to spark a fire of yearning to have a relationship with God one day. A true relationship, not just one of those people they met one time. Like the guy you bought the the bottled water from at the zoo that day. No, a real relationship.

But,why should I lose a precious soul in my life, one that I know God had put in our lives'. And to lose her because of Morgan's actions four years ago. I wonder how many other people feel the same way about him, and us. Once I started thinking about it, I realized that his reputation has probably effected all of us, unknowingly. And definitely without him knowing or caring. I know teachers had a preconceived idea of what his siblings would be like just by seeing their last name, but thankfully they saw each one as their own person. How about the people that just judged without a second thought? Where his siblings not even considered for jobs? or friendships? or outings with friends? Just thinking that one person's self-centered nature could have such a negative impact on so many people's lives with them not even knowing , much less caring, was astounding. I know that her husband is doing what is best for him and his family and I will never interfere in that. I also realized something else. A man can change his legacy.

In Acts chapter 9, we read of Saul's conversion. His is pretty dramatic. This is the guy that went from taking part in the stoning of Stephen (7:58) for preaching that Jesus was the Son of God, to actually going to the synagogue himself and preaching the same message. All it took was meeting Jesus and being blinded for a bit. Our conversion doesn't need to be near as dramatic, but it must be just as sincere. You see, God calls us to be "all in" when we accept Him. We cannot say that we are followers of Christ if we are still living in this world. I know what you're thinking."I'm not committing one of the top ten sins, so I'm good."

That's great, but consider this. God tells us to take up the cross and follow him (Mt. 16:24-26). We've all seen images of Christ carrying His cross to Golgotha. Most of us have seen a movie depicting the Via Delorosa, maybe even seen "The Passion". Whichever version, you have seen a beaten, bloody, exhausted Jesus carrying that cross. Now obviously, Jesus carried that cross so that we don't have to, but picture yourself carrying a cross. Image it being as tall as a birdbath, but when you pick it up, though its awkward, its as if its made of styrofoam. At times, it is still going to require you using both hands to maneuver through everyday life: getting it in the car, making sure the elevator doors don't close on it, getting it in the bathroom stall (it does go everywhere), you get the picture.

If you are using both hands for the cross, you have nothing to hold your sin. Yippee! that means once we take up the cross, its like we area greased pig and sin can't catch us. Don't you wish! You still own your sin. Its yours. But now you can turn it over and put it on the cross. Its not like you have to go any where. You are holding the cross! Slap that sin on there! Just picture it. Envy....right arm of the cross. Jealousy.....left arm of the cross. Doubt....front of the cross....give it all up. Put it on there like decoupage. Layer after layer. You become lighter and lighter. But all the sudden you realize this cross, while its not gotten heavier has gotten stronger. Your going to need it, friend. Because Satan is going to be all over you, just like that Mod Podge glue. But now, you have let Jesus turn your sin into a sword of salvation that God will use to help you fight the Evil One. For he is real, and he will come after you. But you have a mighty army on your side.

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. -2 Cor. 10:4

The number of the mounted troops was two hundred million. I heard their number. -Rev 9:16