Gifts from God

There are so many days I find my self wondering, even questioning aloud, what the purpose is to all of the detours that I've experienced along this journey called life. And then, from nowhere, in such unassuming fashion, God will nudge me, ever so slightly, as if to say "you've persevered, now help this one press on". One of these little God nudges came last night. And I was right in the middle of testifying before I realized that God had even set this in motion.

First, let me back up and say that I believe we really do have detours on this journey. For me, I can't believe anything any less. I know some people believe in predestination, or that God allows "bad things to happen to good people". But for me, after all the twists and turns in my life, I've come to realize that it is a journey. We are all traveling to the same destination, but because of free will are taking different paths to get there. Some seem to have a carefree journey and a more direct route, but it is because they consult the map (bible) constantly. Think back to growing up in church and remember a little old couple in church for this one. The one that sits up in the front "whispering" loud enough for everyone to hear, because they can't hear. You know right when the sermon starts she's going to pull out some wrapped hard candy, and the opening sound of that cellophane wrap will distract everyone for a minute. Bless his heart, the little man is still an elder, but starts the communion table, because the walk down that aisle is just too much. They may be slower and very "set in their ways", but you know at this very minute they are in the presence of the Lord because of their outward expression of their faith and the life they lived. They could probably recite the entire bible but if you look closer at those wrinkles, you would realize that each bible passage was their sustainer at those most challenging moments in their lives.

It was not through law that Abraham and his offspring received the promise that he would be the heir of the world, but through the righteousness that comes by faith. -Romans 4:13

Oh, don't think for a minute that there will not be heavy traffic, potholes and construction to drive through. Yes, you will still have road closures, detours and waiting your turn for the one lane traffic in the construction zone. That, friend, is life. But while you wait, read your bible. Its there in the car with you, right?

There are those who may have their map in the car, but rarely look at it, because quite honestly they forget they have it with them. They may tend to take frequent detours, often times taking the wrong road.But even if they take they long way around, they will find the main route again, settle back down, and know they aren't lost after all. Unlike the others who felt like they didn't need a map and end up driving around aimlessly. Most of the time they sit back and enjoy all the new sights these backroads have to offer. It is when they encounter the "aroma"of the countryside that they realize they didn't need that silly map and must rely on someone else to lead them back to the main road to try again. Let us not forget the distracted driver. The one diligently using the map, but somehow multitasking at the same time. They don't mean to sway off course, but quickly get back on track when they discover they have. We have to figure out which driver we are, and learn to drive with these others on the road. When you see a stranded driver on the side of the road, what will you do? Will you stop to help another driver? Or will you call the police non-emergency number and report a stranded driver? Or will you decide the best thing to do is to just pray that the Lord will send someone will help them?

If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach. -Romans 12:7

Wow! I love it when God speaks directly to my heart..

When I was just now looking for a verse to go with what I'd just written about the stranded driver, I started thinking of different topics (rescue, listen, obey, serve), but none felt right until I thought of serve. Nothing unusual; that's how this whole post/blog/whatever works. Anyway, I looked up "serve" in the back of my bible and saw that it could take a minute. Serve and servant are big topics throughout the bible. But somehow after looking at a few I settled on this on. And had a little God moment. See, this verse is part of a letter that Paul wrote to the church in Rome. In this section Paul talks about gifts God has given us.

We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach. If it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully. -Romans 12:6-8

Reading through this, I realize I have no idea what my gift is. Not a clue. I admire people who do, though. It just dawned on me that I am a few months shy of being in my career for 30 years. Unbelievable to think its been that long. My college roommates and I Zoom every Friday. It seems like yesterday we were all swapping clothes (we were skinny then), and going to a 24-hour restaurant and "pulling an all nighter" with a bottomless jug of coffee to study for exam. Thirty years since graduation doesn't seem possible. Thirty years in a career that I've have never enjoyed. No, really. At times I have dreaded going to work, and often wanted to call in "quit", but I can't remember a time when I truly enjoyed my job. (I'd love to call in "quit" tomorrow, if it weren't for that pesky little health insurance detail.) Which often makes me wonder what my gift is; what I should have chosen as a career. Don't get me wrong, I know that God has used me several times to reach people for Him. Some of those I know about and remember with awe and wonder, even fondness. But I'm sure there were many other times He was able to use me, when I was unaware. But let's be real. There is that part of me that wants to just scream, "Can't I just be happy in my job? I've done my time, don't ya think?"

That brings me back to the nudge I received last night. One of my colleagues posted a mama rant on social media last night about a recent medical diagnosis for one of her children. She was asking for prayers for this child to readjust his thinking about what the future should look like from what he'd imagined to the new reality, based on this diagnosis. Bless her heart, you could just hear the agony in her words. I sent her a private message telling her that I was praying for her: her strength to re-imagine the new reality from the dreams she had for him, strength to go to God and tell Him it stinks, and strength to be the mom (for all her children and wife God needs her to be now. She admitted that she was mad at God. My response, "Girl, you think He doesn't know that? He is waiting right there for you to tell Him so that you can get that out of the way and let Him guide you. Its still gonna hurt and it will be ugly at times, but He will never leave you. What He sees for us is so much better than what we could ever imagine. Believe, He and I have had several conversations about this very thing today!" I don't think I even realized what I'd told her until she wrote back, "You are the person that understands this the most. Thank you!"

Wait, what? All the years of my personal trials were for this moment?

Really? Well, okay I accept that.

Hold on.

I wouldn't have been here for her, had it not been for my job.

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11