Who is walking with you?

For you have delivered me from death, and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life. -Psalm 56:13

Funeral. Just the mention of the word to most brings automatic memories of sadness and grief, maybe an instant tear. Suddenly you are transported back in time to the very spot in the funeral home or church, surrounded by family you haven't seen for years. For some, that's not a bad thing, for others a chance to mend broken relationships. You can even hear the voices of friends and family gathered, at times drowning out the music you'd carefully chosen, coming softly through the speakers. You reminisce with old friends, meet new friends and distant family of the "dearly departed", and listen to stories. Oh the stories!

"We've already done this once. Don't you know remember the when Lazarus was raised from the dead? Wonder if the family got a BOGO this time...."

"Meshach has had such an amazing life, bless his heart. You know he and his brothers Shadrach and Abednego escaped that fire unharmed, don't you?"

"That Deborah! Girl, she was always judging other people! Who did she think she was?"

You finally get home, emotionally spent, and too tired to know if you took the keys out of the door when you came in and locked it behind you. You notice that you have received seven pictures from your college roommate. You are pretty sure she was at the funeral home, but there was so much going on you realize you may never have even actually spoken to her. She's your accountability partner so you know these are going to be snapshots of inspirational quotes to help you through the next several days. With eager anticipation you open the pictures to discover seven images of feet. Yes, feet. All dressed in a assorted ensemble of sandals, varying heights of open and closed toe heels, sneakers, dress shoes, with and without socks. And these pairs of feet are in groups with other pairs of feet. You flip through again, and don't know whether to laugh or cry. I can't remember what I did, honestly but every time I think about them, I laugh. And smile. And thank God for beautiful friends, who love me enough to sit at my dad's funeral visitation, and out of boredom take pictures of people's shoes as they walk by.

I thought about the former days, the years of long ago -Psalm 77:5

I can't remember the last time I thought of those pictures. Nor what made me thing of them this morning. (Yes, it was a God thing; just don't the actual....oh, never mind.) But thinking of sitting at that kitchen table looking at those pictures took me straight to sitting at that table with her and our other best friend from college. Around this same time, the three of us found ourselves seated around this very kitchen table. That may not seem too incredibly impressive, but for three of us, who have lived in 13 states between us, it was monumental.

Did you hear the one about the three christian women, from three completely different backgrounds, that met in a kitchen in the country? The first one lived there, the second is from the country and had no problem getting there. Third one is the city girl. Yes, she did get lost, with a GPS, with directions that were as follows: get off the interstate, turn right, drive 13 miles and turn left. Second house on right. But that's not the punchline. Did I mention the storm and the fact that she parked under the basketball goal? the kind on wheels? very nice car under the goal? very, very nice car.... she still loves me.

Seventeen years is a long time for a friendship. So much can happen in that time. Weddings and divorces; babies born and dying; triumphs and tragedies; moves from one house to another, or another state; children excelling and others failing. But 17 wasn't the years of friendship. That was the number of years since the three of us had been together. We had a lot of catching up to do. And that kitchen table endured a lot of tears, laughter, confessions, forgiveness, accountability, and prayers that night that continued into the next morning. We realized we'd spent 17 hours at that table, and left with the goal of a yearly girls' weekend.

Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. -James 5:16

We have been able to keep that promise. And thanks to COVID, we now try to ZOOM every month. In a time when we can't travel, some states can't even attend churches, we need this "face" time. It is very easy for me, right this moment to be writing these words behind this screen, but I might feel a whole lot like Aaron if I were to have to tell you my stories face to face. I know my stories, and I know for a fact that some will cause me embarrassment, and some shame. But James tells us that we must confess, not just to God, but to each other. He doesn't want us to do this in order to cause any harm. He says to do so to pray for each other and be healed. I know that I want people praying for me everyday. But I especially want my accountability partners praying for me. They know me. They know the real me.

GotQuestions.org outlines four traits to look for in an accountability partner, beginning with being equally yoked. (II Cor 6:14) We shouldn't be unequally yoked in any relationship. But what I've experienced is that while my relationships have been with believers, the level of "confidence"fluctuates. This makes it imperative to have christian accountability partners. Though my faith, trust and belief in God have never faltered, I've needed my APs at the lowest points to pray me through it. Because of the people that God has placed in my life, I am fortunate to have five APs. (We are not all each others AP.) But, I can truly say, at this very moment we are all in different places. I know that there are some praying for me, and some I'm praying for. We are accountable for each other.

Our accountability partner should be someone we trust (Proverbs 11:13) , to tell us the truth (Proverbs 27:6) and knows the word of God (John 17:17). We need someone who we know will not share our information. But at the same time, we need (though we may not always want) someone who will call us out and tell us the truth. This can't be done unless that person knows the word. That person must understand forgiveness (Col 3:13) and be non-judgmental (Phil 4:8). As an AP do not dwell on the confession, and certainly don't judge. Neither is your place.

"For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them." -Matthew 18:20

I don't know about you but that is very comforting to me. Jesus is with us to help protect us, but also to remind us of our morals and ethics. That little voice you hear when you are reading scripture, or listening to the radio, or driving your car. You've heard it. In our society now with so many voices, I want His to drown out all others. I want to hear that direction and assurance. I need that. And I know I can get that because of my accountability partners praying me through life.